Hello everyone. I am feeling deeply contemplative as we all start back to work and into our regular routines. Being a highly empathetic person (an empath) I am feeling that many have struggled to understand their confusing emotions during the last two weeks. The end of the year can be a time of emotional turmoil and upheaval for highly intuitive compassionate souls in recovery from a difficult childhood–we often absorbed the pain of those less compassionate in our families and blamed ourselves for it–at a time when we wanted to be loved and seen and to be celebrating the holidays.
Now that you are older and wiser, you know how to create the kind of holiday support that you want and you have been successful at creating a safe circle of support for yourself. But because you are safe now and your soul is stronger and you are striving to reach some new goals and dreams it is very likely that some of the pain you internalized as a tiny child was coming “up” to heal at a time when you wanted to be happy and celebrating like everyone else.
When pain comes up when things are going well, it is a layer of repressed energy coming up to be healed–and to show you what you endured in early childhood and what caused you to form some unhealthy core beliefs about yourself that are not true about you. This occurring is often really the pain of others that you absorbed when you were too little to understand your empathic abilities–it is not even “your” pain, you were probably a shining light of optimism in the face of much darkness as a child… but after a while our tiny spirits “give up” (around the age of 5 or 6) and go into hiding until it is safe to come out.
Now it is safe to come out and so that is why that pain is coming up–it is pain from the past just saying “hello here I am from the past”. Try to imagine yourself just waving and saying hello as it passes, like a train passing through, to teach you something you didn’t know about yourself. (Try this instead of allowing the pain to take you over and “believing” it.) It is teaching you that you are now wiser about your own strength and what you are capable of enduring. It is not the truth about “you”, it is just pain that you absorbed and believed that you deserved. But you didn’t deserve it. You were tiny and defenseless and misunderstood. This life is your journey to understand yourself and this pain happening is an opportunity. It helped me feel so much stronger when I read that Ekhart Tolle said that “we are not what happened to us, we are the presence that observes what happened to us”. It shifted me–it was a “aha” moment.
The pain was someone elses to begin with. And as a child someone blamed you for their pain and you had no choice but to take it and blame yourself for it because as compassionate souls we can’t “bear” the rejection we would have had to endure if we had gotten mad about how we were treated. The messages about our deserving the pain belongs to an inner critic we developed in our heads that is a “liar” about you–it is wrong about you and you did not deserve to have the pain of others put on you like that.
Jaycee Dugard, the kidnap victim said after her release, “I will not feel shame about what happened to me, it is “his” shame he put on me and I will not spend a second allowing it to keep me from enjoying the rest of my life!”(–this is not an exact quote, I heard her speak on a tv show.) I am amazed at her strength and clarity about what happened and how to move forward. It shows she had a strong core of love for herself before she was so brutally victimized.
So, I believe it is very helpful to visualize the pain and shame as negative energy going back to where it came from or away from you and visualize love and light from the Universe or nature in a protective bubble around you or angels wings embracing you with comfort and nurturing love. This love is real and available to you anytime if you can just allow yourself to be open to it. Nature can be a loving source of healing for any time you experience negative energy (emotional pain) intruding in your life. The elements of nature absorb negative energy and give you back positive energy. If you can’t get outdoors to be recharged, you can hold flower petals or leaves in your hands and imagine sending the negative energy into it (you can’t hurt nature–it is able to replenish itself), or in a shower you can visualize the negative energy being washed out of you and down the drain and replenishing your body with love and light.
I hope this information is helpful and helps you understand the often confusing process of emotional healing recovery for highly intuitive souls. Most important, be very kind and gentle to yourself and know you are supported by the Universe (Mother Earth, God) and you are here for higher reasons. You are healing when you feel the pain and release it–that layer of pain is gone forever.
I am wishing you peace and love as we begin a New Year with tender feelings left over from the Holidays. You now know more about yourself and what you deserved from the painful upheaval of feelings from the past that may have come “up” over the holidays. Gentleness is the answer–be gentle on your compassionate soul each and every day and your message of gentleness will spread to others. Perhaps this is the reason you are here on the planet–to spread this healing message of the grace and calm of “gentleness”. But first you must learn to be gentle to yourself. You deserve to be bathed in the light of calm and gentle… love.
With loving support,