Hello and Welcome!
My name is Roxanne E. Smith. I am a Life Coach for highly compassionate, intuitive, sensitive souls in search of self-actualization and freedom from self-doubt. I’m a Creativity Coach. I am an INFJ (Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judicial) and many of my clients who were drawn to my work have turned out to be NFs (iNtuitive Feelers) or NTs (iNtuitive Thinkers). And so it is my privilege to provide a blog that brings extra support to this special community as well as to highly sensitive people, creative artists and visionaries, and all compassionate, introspective souls and seekers.
At the age of 21 I acquired a Bachelor’s Degree in Child and Family Services from Bowling Green State University in Ohio (1983) where I had internships as a peer counselor and as a child advocate for children from emotionally abusive homes. It was my dream to become a psychotherapist but in spite of my great academic and professional success I had a big and deep question:
How could I possibly help others heal in a deep way unless I figured myself out first?!
So, I sought out a counselor at the age of 23 who had her PhD in Clinical Psychology and she turned out to be a great mentor in my life–she had me take the Keirsey and Bates Temperament Type Test which indicated that I was an INFJ. She was an INFJ too, lucky for me, and she not only encouraged me to follow my dream to help others but she told me I was a gifted writer and that I had an amazing ability to express my true self and heal my self in my poetry. “Keep writing in this special way”, she said, “and you can be your own psychologist!”
She was right! I had been writing poetry in a journal since I was 14 and have been continuing to write ever since. I was fortunate to have a loving, supportive husband (an INTJ) who supported my writing and my decision to focus my energy on creating a loving home for our 2 children and for all of us and making everyone’s self-esteem development my first priority. At each step of their development I saw the world through my children’s eyes and healed my own wounded soul as I wrote out my painful truth.
During this time, as my children grew, my writing, study, and healing process helped me to heal and overcome perfectionism, co-dependence, various compulsions and anxieties. I was also able to heal from chronic fatigue syndrome, candidiasis, multiple food allergies (now I am only sensitive to gluten), ovarian cysts, adrenal fatigue, and low thyroid function. I am happy to say I am now healthy, full of energy, and almost symptom-free from all of these conditions and stress-related illnesses. I owe much to the alternative therapies of NAET, holistic chiropractic, some acupuncture, compounding pharmacies, Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET), and the kind, intuitive souls at my local health food stores.
In 2003, at the age of 42, I started writing “morning pages” (following Julia Cameron’s book–The Artist’s Way) to unblock my creativity even further and through this “deep inner grief work” I found my voice as a writer, as a singer/songwriter, and mostly as a person! This 3-pages-a-day of free writing freed up a part of me that had been hiding in shame, and upon expressing it, releasing it, and healing it came a connection to a wise and confident part of myself–I now am thrilled to say I feel a “wholeness” and I have regained the vitality of my true self! I have found an inner peace and a new energy and ability to shine my inner light to help others!
Along the way on this journey of self-growth I studied the works of Alice Miller, author of the Drama of the Gifted Child, and John Gray’s theories of working through emotional blocks from our past. Other important influences in my healing journey were Louise Hay who wrote You Can Heal Your Life and Carl Rogers who wrote On Becoming A Person. Then more recently, upon discovering more about my intuitive gifts, I was drawn to books about spirituality by Sanaya Roman, and Sylvia Browne. There are more too numerous to mention but it is to all of these highly intuitive pioneers in psychology, self-growth and spirituality that I owe my success–it is by their example and bravery of spirit that they showed me the way to my higher self.
My unique therapeutic techniques in inner child healing evolved gradually as I was drawn to helping others who had been deeply misunderstood and exploited as children. For years now I have been helping highly introspective souls as a Life Coach providing Inner Child Healing. I feel with my whole heart that helping highly sensitive and creative souls to heal on a deep emotional level is my true purpose in life. My dream of helping others to find their inner power and light and true inner voice inside has come true. I was also able to unblock my musical creativity as part of my healing journey and I have written aver 50 songs since 2004. I call these songs of hope and healing “Folk Rock Songs For the Soul”. I am sharing the lyrics to many of these songs here on this blog in the hopes they will inspire others to overcome the blocks to true happiness and vitality that I was able to overcome while writing them.
So, there is hope for healing the self-doubt that so many of us highly intuitive people feel inside. I am living proof! And I feel privileged to help others by sharing my journey of healing and ways you can overcome the negative voices that keep us from achieving the HIGHER heights our souls desire. You can do it! You can reclaim your Creative, Authentic True Self and True Voice. And I am here to help.
With loving support,
I’m delighted to have found your blog.
Will be happily following your work.
Tom, Thank you so much for your kind words and the follow.
I am equally delighted to find yours!
Warmest wishes to you,
Hi Roxanne–I am INFJ as well! So good to connect with you and I look forward to following your blog. Many, many blessings to you and all the Light you are bringing to the world!-Julie
Julie, Thank you so much for your kind words and for following me! It’s great to meet you–a fellow INFJ! Wonderful how you are using your intuitive gifts to help others-amazing how we each find our own unique niche as intuitives. I am happy to follow you as well. 🙂 Sending you my warmest caring wishes.
I have no idea what I am on the Keirsey and Bates Temperament Type Test, but I suspect I may be an NF and NT. I’m glad I found your blog. Gives me lots to think about and read.
Paula, Thank you for your comment. Finding out your temperament type can be life changing–it will put your uniqueness into a positive perspective. I highly recommend the Please Understand Me Book–it will help you feel special about “you” and help you understand other people in your life as well. So glad to enlighten another intuitive person :D! Thank you for the follow and welcome to my blog!
Thank you so much! I am looking for the book on my Kindle right now. If not there, I’ll walk over to Barnes & Noble. Discovering ourselves is such a journey. 🙂
You are so welcome! Please do not mistakenly order Please Understand Me II by Dr. Keirsey alone–it is very different and in my opinion it is not as good as the original written with Marilyn Bates. Let me know how you like it and your results of the temperament test too if you care to share them. Good luck with your article on being our own life coach–thanks for wanting to include me in it Paula! 🙂
Small world – I was born in Akron. I’m
an ENFJ & of course many of my clients are NFs also – at least the ones who are most willing to to do the work & are more successful at recovery.
Thanks for ‘Liking’ mine to.
Glad to meet you, Donna Marie! Thank you for your comment. Nice to connect with a fellow NFJ who is using her gifts to help others heal their emotional wounds from childhood. Rewarding work isn’t it! I really like your website and all you are doing!
Somehow I missed reading this page when you published it, and I just got around to it today. Despite the fact that we were childhood friends, I’m still surprised (yet pleased) to find out how much we have in common in terms of temperament. I wish we hadn’t lost touch over the years, but am so glad to know you’ve been having such a productive life helping other people. I’ve just ordered the book you recommended above (Please Understand Me), and will let you know my thoughts on it when I’m done. I’m impressed at how well you convey love and acceptance through your writing, and I know you’re helping more people than you even realize. Thanks, my friend.
It’s so great to hear from you! 🙂 Thank you so much for your comment and for your kind words about my work and my writing! I appreciate it very much. I am glad that we have reconnected and I have a strong feeling you are also an INFJ–wonderful that you ordered the book. Yes, I’d love to know your thoughts on it and your test results (the temperament test is in the book). Take care and thank you again, Kim. 😀
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving the like. Interesting blog you have here. Best wishes on your blogging.
Hi David, You are welcome and thank you for checking out my blog. I appreciate the kind words–it means a lot! Warmest wishes to you. 😀
thanks, Roxanne, for the gold star 🙂
I am an INFJ too…also married to an INTJ…! ideal combo. 🙂 and I do love my morning pages…!
can’t wait to check out your site!
Wow, yes, I agree that INTJs are ideal for us…and writing morning pages (journaling) is so wonderfully therapeutic for INFJs–glad to hear it! Thank you so much for your comment. So nice to connect with you! 😀
thank you, Roxanne! you too!
PS. I took the Artist’s Way course last year…changed my life… 🙂
Thanks for letting me know about the Artist’s Way course changing your life too. Did you know that Julia Cameron is friends with Sonia Choquette who wrote many books on developing intuitive abilities?–she credits Julia with helping her write her books and says Julia is an empath and highly intuitive as well–makes sense…. 😀
Roxanne! I did not know that – thanks for the mention! I will look her up.. 🙂 sure does make sense re Julia! amazing!
Thanks for visiting my blog. Since statistically INFJ’s are 1% of the population, I find it very cool that I have found so many like myself at wordpress!
Hi Linda, Thank you for checking out my site! Yes, WordPress has been a wonderful vehicle for all of us who are drawn to express our true voices online–we find each other and it is yes, very cool! Thanks for your comment and for stopping by. 😀 Warmest wishes to you.
I’m an INFJ too!! It is so much of a relief to find other intuitives out there like me. Sometimes I feel like the only one! I’m a fan of The Artists’s Way, Louise Hay and Sanaya Roman too. I also love Wayne Dyer. Happy to have found your blog xx
Hi Rachel, Thank you so much for your comment and for the follow and likes! So glad to meet a fellow INFJ–looks like we have much in common. 😀 Yes, Wayne Dyer is amazing. Welcome to our Community of Compassionate Souls (lots of INFJs)! Yay!!
It’s always a delight to meet another kindred soul on this path. I started in healing the child within therapy in the early 90’s and am still healing and embracing my wounded child. This is a lifetime path and a lifelong journey.
Goddess bless you in the work you are doing. Hugs, Brenda Marroy
Hi Brenda, Thank you so much for your comment and for your kind words. I am delighted to meet you as well. You are a kindred soul indeed. Isn’t it wonderful when you realize how far we’ve come from the wounded child we once were to helping others by shining our light that was there all along? 😀 Bless you as well in all of your writing ventures! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs, Roxanne
hi Roxanne? I’m not very sure if this is the right place for me to post a comment on your blog concerning what i want to talk about. I was searching for why it is unbearable to live with a narcissistic mum and my search landed me on your blog. I have a narcissistic mum whom i didn’t quite know was narcissistic until a couple of months ago. I’m in my mid twenties at the moment and as i grow older and become more independent in my thinking, i find myself highly irritated being around her. It’s more like i have this pent up anger in me toward her and i don’t know how to express it. I tried to do it on my blog but along the way i felt so ashamed and a little off for talking about such personal things. I ended up going anonymous then eventually stopped posting on that blog quite recently. I just felt like the more i talked about my mother’s dynamics, the more helpless i felt. It was not like she was going to change or become more understanding or supportive. As a matter of fact, she constantly tries to hold on to my life in a somewhat subconscious way and i’m ever trying unsuccessfully to break free. I feel like she is everywhere around me and i don’t like it one bit. I can’t even share anything with her.
Part of the reason i find myself resenting her nowadays is because she appears to be someone without any goals in life and ambition. She is not gainfully employed and is currently running a business that already collapsed years ago yet she refuses to take advice to change it or try something else like getting a job. Meaning she is always broke and not of much help to her kids financially as i’m still struggling to clear campus due to fee problems. I feel like she enjoys being a parasite to people and she also tries to make us her daughters not to have any ambition or goal in life by trashing all our decisions or subotaging our efforts at personal growth. At the moment, i’m quite helpless and i really need a solution to this as in my society it is not possible to cut links with a parent for good though i find myself increasingly wishing i could. Our narc mum has used religion too to abuse us. She imposes her beliefs on us and reacts with anger when we don’t seem to share the same ideologies with her concerning religion. She is quick with her tongue and won’t hesitate to mock you or blast you at any given opportunity. I feel overwhelmed at times with her demands for attention yet she is a grown woman. She will not let me be and takes it personally whenever i try to have my me time. Frankly, at times i regret being her daughter.
Thank you for your comment, L’s Delights. You sound very bright and insightful for being so young and I understand all you are saying. Many people will be helped by your comment who have not yet found their voice to speak up for themselves about a difficult parent due to shame (induced since childhood and by our cultures too) which takes much inner strength to overcome. You know you are being mistreated and it is good to speak out for support. I recommend you read some of my recommended books and keep reading blogs and comments that are specifically about highly sensitive people and healing childhood wounds and N parents. Any of the books by Charles Whitfield will be of great support while you gain strength to detach and get stronger boundaries in your life: Boundaries; Codependence; and Healing the Child Within and whichever of the books on my list you feel drawn to. A sensitive INFJ counselor would be of great help–keep searching for safe people in your life that you can talk to for support. For such an eloquent expressive writer such as yourself, I recommend journaling for your eyes only–this will also help you find inner strength and peace. I may start coaching again at some point but for now I can only send my warmest, caring wishes as you gain inner strength and self-compassion to keep shining!! With loving support, Roxanne
So glad i found you! your site and blog has been helping me heal in so many ways! 😀 I have felt so misunderstood , but its almost like you summarized my entire child hood. i am also INFJ. I am finally learning and becoming the woman that i always wanted to be, leaving a lot of negativity, draining and toxic relationships in the past. Turning 21 soon, and finally have the chance to start school. you are such an inspiration. its a funny thing how synchronicity works, I planned on majoring in child development, i knew i wanted to help others, i just didn’t know the exact way to go about things, but you have paved the way . i hope that soon i can also acquire my bachelors and masters degrees and live out my dream of helping others just like you have.
i am going to read the books you have suggested. another woman who has inspired my journey goes by the name of Heidi Sawyer. You probably know of her, but if not, i think you would love her work! she is a high intuitive sensitive . many blessings! – Nathalia Harris
Nathalia, Thank you for your lovely comment! I apologize for my delay in responding–my husband and I just hosted a long-planned wedding for our only daughter and I am still recharging from all the festivities. It took me away from my blog and sites for a few weeks but I am back now and can respond fully to your wonderful comment. Thank you so much for the kind words. I am so happy that you found my sites and I was able to be helpful and inspire confidence in you–thank you for letting me know!! You have much wisdom for your young years I can tell. Wishing you all the best with your academic plans and hoping you will stay in touch and even comment on future blog posts. 😀 I hope to be writing more on this blog soon (but sporadically) now that things have quieted down after the wedding–I am also hoping to start more performing soon so that will be keeping me busy. (I hope to be adding more of my healing songs to be easily streamed from all of my sites as well.) I have not heard of Heidi Sawyer but I will look her up! Thank you. I hope my recommended book’s are helpful–again thank you for letting me know. Sending love and light and caring wishes to you, Nathalia, as you embark on your journey of self-growth and helping others, Roxanne 😀
Hi Roxanne! Thanks so much for following my blog! I’m an INTJ. I love the Meyers-Briggs. 🙂 Looks like we have a lot in common. I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog and learning more about you.
Hi Dayna! Thanks very much for the follow as well! It’s funny because I rarely read stuff about the ascension to my husband but I read him parts of your latest post and now I see why I did–you are both INTJs!–I felt it was written in a way he’d understand! Haha! Wonderful to connect to you! Warmly, Roxanne
…Oh and I hope you feel better soon! Sending healing light and warm wishes to you 😀