The Gift of Being a Highly Sensitive Person–Understanding the HSP trait

Hello everyone!  Today I want to share with all of you an article I wrote in 2010 about the gifts I discovered of being an HSP:  Please leave a comment if this resonates with you–comments are so helpful to others who haven’t yet found their voice.  Help me to help others know that they are not alone.  Join me as part of a community who lends comfort and understanding to those who are healing and who may be suffering in silence. Thank you! ❤ 😀 ❤

THE GIFT OF BEING A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON–UNDERSTANDING THE HSP TRAIT

By Roxanne E. Smith © 2010

In my early forties, I felt empowered when I discovered that I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). (The term was coined by Elaine Aron, PhD in her now famous book entitled The Highly Sensitive Person.)  I now understand that being an HSP is a gift and for this I am truly grateful.  It means I am highly “intuitive”–not highly “insecure” or “weak” as many people have been wrongly led to believe by our American culture and media.  It also means that I am “Sensory”-sensitive which is not about emotionality–it means I am sensitive to sensory input that causes me to feel overstimulated at times–HSPs take in 5 to 10 times more stimuli in our environments than non-HSPs.  HSPS are highly creative and often visionaries.  Here are some other things I learned about being an HSP that I would like to share:

1)      MANY HSPS ARE HIGHLY EMPATHIC.  Until you understand the benefits of being an HSP, it can be very difficult to understand why you are so different from those around you and why you yearn to “fit in”.  HSPs feel things more deeply and we can empathize with the feelings of others so completely that we often unwittingly “take on” the negative feelings of those around us.  We can end up feeling “bad” and have no idea why and blame ourselves for it when actually the feelings belong to the person we were just talking to (or sometimes even someone we have just been near).  When we feel bad for no reason, the common reaction for HSPs is to blame ourselves and mentally beat ourselves up.  For example, we say to ourselves, “what is wrong with me;  I should be happy;  everyone else seems happy and carefree so there is something wrong with me that I feel this way;  I must have emotional problems;  I am flawed compared to everyone else”  etc.  When we can recognize that the emotions we are feeling are from others, we can learn to stop this negative self-talk and let go of and release this negative energy that we have absorbed.

2)      HSPS ARE OFTEN TOO HARD ON THEMSELVES.  Becoming aware of how you are treating yourself in your head is becoming aware of your “inner critic”.  Your inner critic is always negative and always wrong about you.  Becoming aware of your inner critic is powerful.  Once you become aware that you are listening to your inner critic you must stop and say to your self, “No, that is not true about me!”  Then replace these thoughts with positive affirmations such as “I love and approve of myself;  I am safe;  I am supported and cared for by the Universe (God);  and I am a highly intuitive soul and I am sensitive for a reason”.  Being able to change the way you treat yourself and talk to yourself will change your life!

3)      HSPS ARE MOST OFTEN LOVING, COMPASSIONATE SOULS.   When you love and approve of yourself as you deserve to be, you begin to shine the light that is inside your soul.  This light is the gift of the highly sensitive soul:  you innately see the good and the potential in other people;  you look to yourself to improve rather than blaming others or expecting them to change;  you are able to empathize with other people’s feelings with compassion;  you are a trusting and loyal friend;  and a very good listener.  These are wonderful gifts for a person to have for they are rare—and it is usually only the rare and highly sensitive friend that would point this out to you.

4)      HSPS OFTEN NEED TO LEARN HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.  Being the kind and caring soul that you are, if you are not seeing the value of that, your worthiness, you will often attract relationships with the kind of negative energy that your inner critic is reflecting.  Also, people who are less sensitive and not intuitive at all are often drawn to HSPs because we absorb their negative feelings and they feel better around us.  Some of these relationships can really confuse us because these non-HSPs can “act” very kind and generous when they want something from us.  These are actually people we need to avoid because they drain us and are unable to reciprocate the giving nature that we need and deserve in a friendship.  Ending relationships with people who are really takers and manipulators rather than givers is a giant leap towards becoming the person you dream to be.  When you are able to take this final step for yourself and start listening to your inner guidance that is your gift, you are well on your way to a life of emotional vitality and wholeness.

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As a final note of support, I want to say that as a highly sensitive and intuitive person, you are part of a group of 15 to 20% of the population that is deep, caring, and compassionate with much love to give. Our giving nature is an inspiration to others who are also part of this 15 to 20% and a gift to the entire planet’s population. There is a percentage of souls on this planet that are existing “for themselves” and are not able to experience or give love to others– these include people with narcissistic personality disorder known as malignant narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths. I believe these people are disconnected completely from their true essence and light due to atrocities and abuse so severe that they have had to “check out” and the dark beliefs they were forced to accept are now running their lives due to their own free will.  They do not want to be fixed, healed, or change so do not waste your precious energy trying to fix them, heal them, or take care of them.  They can be like energy vampires and may insidiously try to put out our “lights” and diminish our belief in our gifts. You do not have to be around anyone who makes you feel bad or zaps your energy or light even if it is a parent or family member. One fifth of the population is over 1 BILLION PEOPLE–and empathetic compassionate people are out there. When you begin to love yourself as you are, stop comparing yourself to others, and protect your self and your energy from negative, manipulative, selfish, or unhealthy people by staying away from them while you are healing, you will start attracting and finding more compassionate people like yourself in your life. Do not settle for superficial relationships–take the road less traveled.  It is the path to love and enlightenment and inner peace.

With love and warmest wishes,

Roxanne

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Posted in Boundaries, Compassion is the Greatest Gift, HSP, Rise Above the Negativity, Sensitivity is a gift, sensory-sensitive, Setting healthy boundaries, Take the Road Less Traveled, Too hard on yourself, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Healing Emotional Wounds That Seem To Pop Up From Nowhere

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     If you were bullied in your family in your youth, then as an adult you may be triggered by the benign actions of the people in your life. This will keep happening until you realize the truth of what happened to you as a young person or child and you begin to have compassion and TLC for for the wounded part of you that still has so many unmet needs for love, acceptance, encouragement, gentleness, and friendliness.
      It is PTSD when you feel victimized all over again and react with numbness, defensiveness, tears, or with the desire to hide and deny and beat yourself up for being overly sensitive. You were not overly sensitive, your feelings mattered then and they matter now! Soothe yourself by being kind to yourself about being triggered. Once you look at your reactions with compassion for yourself, you will be HEALING that layer of dormant, repressed emotion.
      Finding a safe, compassionate person to be a witness to your childhood trauma or writing out the truth of what happened to you in a private journal can make all the difference. It can turn a disempowering situation into one of empowerment and healing for yourself! That layer of pain is now gone forever and healed and you found a part of your true voice and expressed it! You are now stronger! Bring it on! On to the next!
     The sensitive soul is a gifted soul with compassion for the plight of others being an important gift to the planet. Devoting some time for your own emotional healing is a priceless gift to give to yourself–the gift of vitality and inner peace will change your life.
     With love and compassion,
      Roxanne
Posted in Bullying, Comforting Yourself, Compassion for your Inner Child, Compassion is the Greatest Gift, denial of painful childhood, emotionally numb, Extreme-Self-Care, inner child, lacking vitality, PTSD, Releasing the Painful Past, Renewed Motivation, Repressed emotions, Sensitivity is a gift, telling a safe person, The opposite of depression is vitality, Wounded at the Core, wounded inner child | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Emotional Healing Tips for Highly Sensitive (HSPs), Compassionate, Introspective People

The-Bright-Sun-Blue-Sky-Clouds

Are you a highly creative, sensitive soul struggling with feelings of inadequacy especially with the holidays approaching?  Take heart because it is not easy to take the road less traveled when you are trying to fit in with what appears to be going on in the world.  Take a step back and go inward.  This is the direction to go to find inner peace and satisfaction in your life.

You have gifts beyond measure that are invisible to most people you encounter on a daily basis out in the world.  Loneliness is a sign that you are separated from your true self.  The more you reach outward to the masses to fill this loneliness, the lonelier you will feel.  A rich, inner life exists inside of you when you connect with your true self, your passions, desires, and gifts with compassion for all you’ve been through to get to here. Be kind to yourself about your separation from knowing and loving yourself.  Often it is as small children that this separation began so it takes Inner Child Healing to find ourselves again.

Journaling out (for your eyes only) the painful truths of events from childhood can help us tell our story to ourselves.  By accessing the right side of our brain through writing we also access the compassionate part of our brain that comforts and soothes and say “wow, no wonder you feel sad…” or mad, hopeless, fearful, or whatever feeling is dormant, blocked, and keeping us from feeling whole and vital and joyful.

Inner Child Grief Work can take a long time, years in fact, as you work through the layers of emotion that come up to the surface to be validated, comforted, and ultimately released by YOU!  Yes, you can be your own compassionate therapist, your own enlightened witness if you embrace this process and trust that your heart will guide you to the next layer to be released.

This is “the road less traveled” but it does not have to be a lonely road.  Yes, it is a solitary road though and it will lead you to much joy and inner peace when you work through the layers of untruths you believed down to your core as a child.  As you shine light and love on your wounded inner child, she/he will begin trusting herself and this new process of healing– the child inside will feel lighter and lighter as the negative beliefs reveal themselves as just illusions meant to protect you at that time and then these beliefs will gradually fall away.

What remains is a strong desire not to suffer any longer and an ability to rise above negativity when you get triggered by something coming from someone else.  You will finally know “you” and you will stop beating yourself up mentally.  You will recognize when you start to spiral negatively and you will learn to stop yourself and be kind.  Positive affirmations like “I love and approve of myself”, and “I am safe” are essential in this core rebuilding process.

As you go forth in this healing process, emotional pain that arises will be looked on as a healing opportunity to get to the more joyful truth underneath. Because you know that the essence of you is a compassionate, loving, kind-hearted soul who is here on the planet to help and never harm others and that is so special and rare.  You then will love being alone to recharge your soul so you can lift others up to see the beauty that exists that others do not notice.  Your gift to the planet is your sensitivity and what a blessing it is to be different than other people and have this wisdom to heal deeply, recharge, and spread love and light to others.  It takes time to heal and rest from the trauma of being misunderstood and separated from our true gifted nature as children.  Be kind to yourself about it and let the healing take as long as it takes.

For myself, after years of inner grief work journaling and finding my voice starting in 2003, by 2011 I had healed most of the inner wounds and finally felt a wonderful feeling of “wholeness”.  This was a feeling I couldn’t foresee or imagine during the process.  Once you master this process of finding your inner strength through writing, you will use it often to get clarity of the lesson of each new experience the universe offers up to you. I got away from blogging here in the last couple of years as I pursued my music but I’ve continued with the journaling whenever needed. I’ll be sharing my continued journey more now on this blog as HSPs have continued to reach out to me and I am at a new place incorporating the music as a healing source for others as well.

I have discovered that social media outlets like facebook can be an addictive and unhealthy distraction much like too much television dulls our motivation and steals our joy–especially if you look to it as a companion of sorts or as a source of validation for your personal daily life.  I have found it to be best utilized as a platform to shine and help others and to share creative works to inspire.  A personal facebook page is supportive when you lose a pet or family member or need support when you are occasionally ill or have some bad luck …but for deeper daily struggles it can drag you down further–it’s best to unplug from it and go inward and not compare ourselves to what others are doing and saying or expect the masses to understand our complex lives.

We HSPs have all the answers to our own neediness inside ourselves.  Self-compassion and loving, soothing attention to the child inside who feels a sense of unbelonging is the answer to all discontent in my opinion.  When you begin to love and protect your hurt inner child, you recharge and create helpful work that keeps on giving.  The sense of accomplishment snowballs to living a creative life of exciting possibilities.  You trust that whatever is around the corner, it will be a wonderful adventure as you discover more of what you are capable of.

Being your own best friend is not a corny cliche`–it is a real and essential tool for highly sensitive people to navigate our world inhabited by lots of lesser evolved souls who can’t relate to our emotional journey.  We have a higher purpose, a higher vibration of light to shine as “lightworkers” if you will, and our inner child needs our own tender loving self-care in order to be able to turn the light switch back up from the dimming that may have occurred in childhood or from an unsupportive culture or environment.

Shine on yourself first when you are not feeling the least bit shiny. Let me explain.  Highly sensitive people have a gift of believing in lofty ideals and “light” and that really is a highly spiritual concept.  Deep inside we “know” that unconditional love exists for all and we can tap into that love whenever we want. If you struggle with this concept consider that you may be blocking yourself from receiving this loving feeling from the universe because of a childhood belief that you don’t deserve it.  You may have to actively “decide” to be open to allowing love in from Heaven/God/ Source/Universe/ All That Is/ Mother Nature or whatever you’d like to call it.

Believing I deserve love and letting it in made all the difference in my life.  It changed me from looking to others for outside validation to knowing I could heal myself and shine my gifts on the planet to make a difference.  Now this is no longer daily work for me but I still need to journal to reconnect to my inner wisdom from time to time when I need to recharge from the world.

Being an HSP, highly intuitive person, highly evolved, compassionate, or introspective soul is only difficult when you compare yourself to the masses. Consider that you came here to make a difference!–to shine a new path, a new way of thinking about the earth.  You are a pioneer here to show others how to appreciate nature, how to see beauty in unlikely places, how music or poetry can lift them up, how a healthy diet can change your mood, or how building a strong body can help you have more energy to accomplish goals you never imagined before, etc.  There are so many ways that HSPs are essential to our planet thriving.  It all starts with loving the little child inside of you who is still comparing herself to others instead of seeing the spectacular yet fragile gift she/he has always been and always will be!

After all my inner work now my inner child is very strong.  She is the playful creative force behind all my creative works.  This poem flowed out of me from beginning to end in one fell swoop one day recently when I was in my car–I always have pen and paper handy for when a song or poem comes to me.  I just stop everything and write it down. I’m glad to share it with you now:

angel inner child

Wise Inner Child and Wings and Things

By Roxanne E. Smith

2015

Painful layers coming up

Anger, grief and other stuff

I thought all of this was healed

No there’s more! It is revealed!

Inner child inside can now

Tell the truth—feels safe somehow

I will comfort her brave heart

Out of hiding, let her start

To spread her fragile angel wings

Never used before it seems…

Whoa!! She’s ready! Knows they’re real!

Says, “Yeah, I’ve got wings! It’s no big deal!”

No more hiding them from sight

Imagining her very first flight

I’m the one who kept her down

Protecting her from scorn or frown

She tells me to open the door

“Look” she says, “what wings are for!”

Flying easy as the breeze,

she hovers anywhere she please

Surprised that I am still afraid

She takes MY hand and says, “Let’s trade!

“You be me and I’ll be you.”

“Did you know you have wings too!?”

I look behind and see them there

Tucked away with so much care

Hidden just beneath my sight

I didn’t know I had the right!

“I’ve been busy protecting you

and now I see I’ve got wings too!

I am scared to try them out.

It’s been so long I’ve gone without

How to switch to this new change

It feels so shameful and I feel strange!”

Wise child says,

“You know where that’s from?

Others shamed you because they had none.

No wings to fly wherever they want

So they put you down to stay up front.

But now you know the truth down deep

You learned from all the lessons reaped

Deep inside you know your soul

Has learned more love through the life school

Many lives you’ve lived and learned

About compassion and now’s your turn

You’re here to be a beacon light

Fly and shine on others bright

You know you do this anyway

But you’ve got wings so fly and play

Fly and play don’t toil and fret!

You’re sensitive but the strongest yet!

Now you get to do your thing!

Love and shine and fly and sing!

That’s all that’s it and now you know!”

The little child then hugged me so

And said,

“I love you and I’m always here

I’m your inner strength—no longer fear

You protected me ‘til I was strong

Now I help you to get along

Just like with the Butterfly

The caterpillar is gone goodbye!

Brave new woman with golden wings

Stand your ground and fly and sing

Tell about your growth to show

Others who also do not know

That they have hidden wings as well

They earned them too but they can’t tell

Not until they are really SEEN

For the first time since they were teens

They tried to fly but soon were stopped

And painfully their wings were cropped

But they grew back and have been ready

Until the self was loved and steady

Grounded in peace—no longer fear

You’re free to fly away my dears!

So lighten your house and ease your load

Because the next chapter’s seeds are sowed

Freedom is what will grow

and life will have a different flow

Peace and love will soothe your soul

So you can sing some rock’n’roll

Giving hope to others through

Sharing what you love to do

Then they’ll believe in their own soul

And all the world will heal to whole!”

The child then smiled and said, “Okay?!”

Then held my hand and we flew away!!

Original Poem © Roxanne E. Smith

I wish all of you all the most glorious blessings that life and the holidays have to offer!  Whether you are alone or with loved ones, remember you are loved from above and you are never alone.  As well as having a higher true self that is your creative source, I believe we all have a spirit guide who is our best soul friend and guardian angel looking out for us from heaven and giving us those Aha moments and pride in ourselves for rising up to higher heights to fly!

With warm wishes of love, light, and inner peace,

Roxanne

Posted in Comforting Yourself, Compassion for your Inner Child, denial of painful childhood, emotional blocks, Encouragement, Extreme-Self-Care, finding your true purpose, Grief for Your Lost Childhood, grieving the loss of childhood, inner child, inner grief work, negative spiraling thoughts, Releasing the Painful Past, Renewed Motivation, Repressed emotions, Rise Above the Negativity, Rise up from self-doubt, Sensitivity is a gift, Tap into Universal Love, unblock creativity, uplift the soul, vitality, Wounded at the Core, wounded inner child, Writing Connects You to the Right Side of Your Brain | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Healing PTSD From Emotional Trauma

Emotional Violence Effect's on Child's Brains

Hi everyone.  I was inspired by the picture above to write about some tips for emotional healing:

Many people don’t realize that PTSD  can originate from emotionally violent homes or events as well as physical trauma.  When past trauma comes up to the surface because something triggered you, know that it is on it’s way out and be kind to yourself about it. Look at it, love the child you were who had to endure that feeling, and comfort yourself through the pain that you were never allowed to express until now.

One way to do this is to write your painful feelings out in a journal for your eyes only, know you have good reason to feel this particular painful feeling, then say goodbye to it and release it (visualize this negative energy leaving your body to be dissolved and replaced by love from heaven above).

During this process of healing a layer of PTSD, take it easy, have self-compassion, and reduce all stress. Do not numb out, avoid, or medicate your feelings. Now is the time to take time to love yourself and heal these deeper wounds.

You will feel stronger after this layer-by-layer process because you will then have access to more of your true, authentic, loving spirit that has been there all along. You have been waiting for …YOU!

With comforting and caring wishes as you heal,

Roxanne

Posted in avoiding emotions, Comforting Yourself, Compassion for your Inner Child, denial of painful childhood, emotionally numb, Encouragement, grieving the loss of childhood, inner child, inner grief work, Releasing the Painful Past, Repressed emotions, Rise Above the Negativity, Rise up from self-doubt, Unbearable emotional pain, uplift the soul, Wounded at the Core, wounded inner child | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Soulful Sunday–I’m All Right and Show the World

Happy Sunday! For my SOULFUL SUNDAY series I will be sharing the lyrics to two of my songs–I’ve already shared the videos to two of them so I am catching up from being a little behind in sharing them in contingency with the videos. 🙂

Since 2004, I have written over 50 songs that I call Folk Rock Songs For the Soul. It is my hope that they will inspire, uplift, encourage, and empower your Soul.

I wrote “I’m All Right” in 2005 with the intention of empowering women. The process of writing it felt like a gift from above–as with all of my songs. This song is the 5th most streamed/downloaded song from my album on iTunes. Listen to it now for free by clicking this link: https://www.reverbnation.com/roxannesmith/song/22810153-im-all-right

Lyric Photo--I'm All Right

Next, I wrote “Show the World” in 2013. The process of writing it took a little longer than the others but the process still felt like a gift from above–as with all of my songs. This song is the 4th most streamed/downloaded song from my album on iTunes. Listen to it now for free by clicking this link:https://www.reverbnation.com/roxa…/…/23252639-show-the-world

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Wishing you a wonderful day!
With loving support,

Roxanne

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Youtube Tuesday–Show the World

Hello everyone!  Happy Tuesday!  Here’s my video for YOUTUBE TUESDAY of my performance of my original song “Show the World”:

Every Tuesday I release the video of a different original song to Youtube.  You can listen to the professionally recorded version of this song for free and in it’s entirety anytime at the following link:  Show the World

Lyrics: ba19193d-a38d-4a56-82ef-4f9e00fc0b56_zpswp3mh4vm   With loving support, Roxanne

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Youtube Tuesday–Then You Came Along

Hello Everyone!  Happy Tuesday! Here’s my video for YOUTUBE TUESDAY:

This original song entitled “Then You Came Along” was written for my husband in 2005 and performed on 9-10-14.

With loving support,

Roxanne

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