The Gift of Being a Highly Sensitive Person–Understanding the HSP trait

Hello everyone!  Today I want to share with all of you an article I wrote in 2010 about the gifts I discovered of being an HSP:  Please leave a comment if this resonates with you–comments are so helpful to others who haven’t yet found their voice.  Help me to help others know that they are not alone.  Join me as part of a community who lends comfort and understanding to those who are healing and who may be suffering in silence. Thank you! ❤ 😀 ❤

THE GIFT OF BEING A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON–UNDERSTANDING THE HSP TRAIT

By Roxanne E. Smith © 2010

In my early forties, I felt empowered when I discovered that I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). (The term was coined by Elaine Aron, PhD in her now famous book entitled The Highly Sensitive Person.)  I now understand that being an HSP is a gift and for this I am truly grateful.  It means I am highly “intuitive”–not highly “insecure” or “weak” as many people have been wrongly led to believe by our American culture and media.  It also means that I am “Sensory”-sensitive which is not about emotionality–it means I am sensitive to sensory input that causes me to feel overstimulated at times–HSPs take in 5 to 10 times more stimuli in our environments than non-HSPs.  HSPS are highly creative and often visionaries.  Here are some other things I learned about being an HSP that I would like to share:

1)      MANY HSPS ARE HIGHLY EMPATHIC.  Until you understand the benefits of being an HSP, it can be very difficult to understand why you are so different from those around you and why you yearn to “fit in”.  HSPs feel things more deeply and we can empathize with the feelings of others so completely that we often unwittingly “take on” the negative feelings of those around us.  We can end up feeling “bad” and have no idea why and blame ourselves for it when actually the feelings belong to the person we were just talking to (or sometimes even someone we have just been near).  When we feel bad for no reason, the common reaction for HSPs is to blame ourselves and mentally beat ourselves up.  For example, we say to ourselves, “what is wrong with me;  I should be happy;  everyone else seems happy and carefree so there is something wrong with me that I feel this way;  I must have emotional problems;  I am flawed compared to everyone else”  etc.  When we can recognize that the emotions we are feeling are from others, we can learn to stop this negative self-talk and let go of and release this negative energy that we have absorbed.

2)      HSPS ARE OFTEN TOO HARD ON THEMSELVES.  Becoming aware of how you are treating yourself in your head is becoming aware of your “inner critic”.  Your inner critic is always negative and always wrong about you.  Becoming aware of your inner critic is powerful.  Once you become aware that you are listening to your inner critic you must stop and say to your self, “No, that is not true about me!”  Then replace these thoughts with positive affirmations such as “I love and approve of myself;  I am safe;  I am supported and cared for by the Universe (God);  and I am a highly intuitive soul and I am sensitive for a reason”.  Being able to change the way you treat yourself and talk to yourself will change your life!

3)      HSPS ARE MOST OFTEN LOVING, COMPASSIONATE SOULS.   When you love and approve of yourself as you deserve to be, you begin to shine the light that is inside your soul.  This light is the gift of the highly sensitive soul:  you innately see the good and the potential in other people;  you look to yourself to improve rather than blaming others or expecting them to change;  you are able to empathize with other people’s feelings with compassion;  you are a trusting and loyal friend;  and a very good listener.  These are wonderful gifts for a person to have for they are rare—and it is usually only the rare and highly sensitive friend that would point this out to you.

4)      HSPS OFTEN NEED TO LEARN HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.  Being the kind and caring soul that you are, if you are not seeing the value of that, your worthiness, you will often attract relationships with the kind of negative energy that your inner critic is reflecting.  Also, people who are less sensitive and not intuitive at all are often drawn to HSPs because we absorb their negative feelings and they feel better around us.  Some of these relationships can really confuse us because these non-HSPs can “act” very kind and generous when they want something from us.  These are actually people we need to avoid because they drain us and are unable to reciprocate the giving nature that we need and deserve in a friendship.  Ending relationships with people who are really takers and manipulators rather than givers is a giant leap towards becoming the person you dream to be.  When you are able to take this final step for yourself and start listening to your inner guidance that is your gift, you are well on your way to a life of emotional vitality and wholeness.

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As a final note of support, I want to say that as a highly sensitive and intuitive person, you are part of a group of 15 to 20% of the population that is deep, caring, and compassionate with much love to give. Our giving nature is an inspiration to others who are also part of this 15 to 20% and a gift to the entire planet’s population. There is a percentage of souls on this planet that are existing “for themselves” and are not able to experience or give love to others– these include people with narcissistic personality disorder known as malignant narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths. I believe these people are disconnected completely from their true essence and light due to atrocities and abuse so severe that they have had to “check out” and the dark beliefs they were forced to accept are now running their lives due to their own free will.  They do not want to be fixed, healed, or change so do not waste your precious energy trying to fix them, heal them, or take care of them.  They can be like energy vampires and may insidiously try to put out our “lights” and diminish our belief in our gifts. You do not have to be around anyone who makes you feel bad or zaps your energy or light even if it is a parent or family member. One fifth of the population is over 1 BILLION PEOPLE–and empathetic compassionate people are out there. When you begin to love yourself as you are, stop comparing yourself to others, and protect your self and your energy from negative, manipulative, selfish, or unhealthy people by staying away from them while you are healing, you will start attracting and finding more compassionate people like yourself in your life. Do not settle for superficial relationships–take the road less traveled.  It is the path to love and enlightenment and inner peace.

With love and warmest wishes,

Roxanne

Posted in Boundaries, Compassion is the Greatest Gift, HSP, Rise Above the Negativity, Sensitivity is a gift, sensory-sensitive, Setting healthy boundaries, Take the Road Less Traveled, Too hard on yourself, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Healing Emotional Wounds That Seem To Pop Up From Nowhere

emotional_healing
     If you were bullied in your family in your youth, then as an adult you may be triggered by the benign actions of the people in your life. This will keep happening until you realize the truth of what happened to you as a young person or child and you begin to have compassion and TLC for for the wounded part of you that still has so many unmet needs for love, acceptance, encouragement, gentleness, and friendliness.
      It is PTSD when you feel victimized all over again and react with numbness, defensiveness, tears, or with the desire to hide and deny and beat yourself up for being overly sensitive. You were not overly sensitive, your feelings mattered then and they matter now! Soothe yourself by being kind to yourself about being triggered. Once you look at your reactions with compassion for yourself, you will be HEALING that layer of dormant, repressed emotion.
      Finding a safe, compassionate person to be a witness to your childhood trauma or writing out the truth of what happened to you in a private journal can make all the difference. It can turn a disempowering situation into one of empowerment and healing for yourself! That layer of pain is now gone forever and healed and you found a part of your true voice and expressed it! You are now stronger! Bring it on! On to the next!
     The sensitive soul is a gifted soul with compassion for the plight of others being an important gift to the planet. Devoting some time for your own emotional healing is a priceless gift to give to yourself–the gift of vitality and inner peace will change your life.
     With love and compassion,
      Roxanne
Posted in Bullying, Comforting Yourself, Compassion for your Inner Child, Compassion is the Greatest Gift, denial of painful childhood, emotionally numb, Extreme-Self-Care, inner child, lacking vitality, PTSD, Releasing the Painful Past, Renewed Motivation, Repressed emotions, Sensitivity is a gift, telling a safe person, The opposite of depression is vitality, Wounded at the Core, wounded inner child | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Emotional Healing Tips for Highly Sensitive (HSPs), Compassionate, Introspective People

The-Bright-Sun-Blue-Sky-Clouds

Are you a highly creative, sensitive soul struggling with feelings of inadequacy especially with the holidays approaching?  Take heart because it is not easy to take the road less traveled when you are trying to fit in with what appears to be going on in the world.  Take a step back and go inward.  This is the direction to go to find inner peace and satisfaction in your life.

You have gifts beyond measure that are invisible to most people you encounter on a daily basis out in the world.  Loneliness is a sign that you are separated from your true self.  The more you reach outward to the masses to fill this loneliness, the lonelier you will feel.  A rich, inner life exists inside of you when you connect with your true self, your passions, desires, and gifts with compassion for all you’ve been through to get to here. Be kind to yourself about your separation from knowing and loving yourself.  Often it is as small children that this separation began so it takes Inner Child Healing to find ourselves again.

Journaling out (for your eyes only) the painful truths of events from childhood can help us tell our story to ourselves.  By accessing the right side of our brain through writing we also access the compassionate part of our brain that comforts and soothes and say “wow, no wonder you feel sad…” or mad, hopeless, fearful, or whatever feeling is dormant, blocked, and keeping us from feeling whole and vital and joyful.

Inner Child Grief Work can take a long time, years in fact, as you work through the layers of emotion that come up to the surface to be validated, comforted, and ultimately released by YOU!  Yes, you can be your own compassionate therapist, your own enlightened witness if you embrace this process and trust that your heart will guide you to the next layer to be released.

This is “the road less traveled” but it does not have to be a lonely road.  Yes, it is a solitary road though and it will lead you to much joy and inner peace when you work through the layers of untruths you believed down to your core as a child.  As you shine light and love on your wounded inner child, she/he will begin trusting herself and this new process of healing– the child inside will feel lighter and lighter as the negative beliefs reveal themselves as just illusions meant to protect you at that time and then these beliefs will gradually fall away.

What remains is a strong desire not to suffer any longer and an ability to rise above negativity when you get triggered by something coming from someone else.  You will finally know “you” and you will stop beating yourself up mentally.  You will recognize when you start to spiral negatively and you will learn to stop yourself and be kind.  Positive affirmations like “I love and approve of myself”, and “I am safe” are essential in this core rebuilding process.

As you go forth in this healing process, emotional pain that arises will be looked on as a healing opportunity to get to the more joyful truth underneath. Because you know that the essence of you is a compassionate, loving, kind-hearted soul who is here on the planet to help and never harm others and that is so special and rare.  You then will love being alone to recharge your soul so you can lift others up to see the beauty that exists that others do not notice.  Your gift to the planet is your sensitivity and what a blessing it is to be different than other people and have this wisdom to heal deeply, recharge, and spread love and light to others.  It takes time to heal and rest from the trauma of being misunderstood and separated from our true gifted nature as children.  Be kind to yourself about it and let the healing take as long as it takes.

For myself, after years of inner grief work journaling and finding my voice starting in 2003, by 2011 I had healed most of the inner wounds and finally felt a wonderful feeling of “wholeness”.  This was a feeling I couldn’t foresee or imagine during the process.  Once you master this process of finding your inner strength through writing, you will use it often to get clarity of the lesson of each new experience the universe offers up to you. I got away from blogging here in the last couple of years as I pursued my music but I’ve continued with the journaling whenever needed. I’ll be sharing my continued journey more now on this blog as HSPs have continued to reach out to me and I am at a new place incorporating the music as a healing source for others as well.

I have discovered that social media outlets like facebook can be an addictive and unhealthy distraction much like too much television dulls our motivation and steals our joy–especially if you look to it as a companion of sorts or as a source of validation for your personal daily life.  I have found it to be best utilized as a platform to shine and help others and to share creative works to inspire.  A personal facebook page is supportive when you lose a pet or family member or need support when you are occasionally ill or have some bad luck …but for deeper daily struggles it can drag you down further–it’s best to unplug from it and go inward and not compare ourselves to what others are doing and saying or expect the masses to understand our complex lives.

We HSPs have all the answers to our own neediness inside ourselves.  Self-compassion and loving, soothing attention to the child inside who feels a sense of unbelonging is the answer to all discontent in my opinion.  When you begin to love and protect your hurt inner child, you recharge and create helpful work that keeps on giving.  The sense of accomplishment snowballs to living a creative life of exciting possibilities.  You trust that whatever is around the corner, it will be a wonderful adventure as you discover more of what you are capable of.

Being your own best friend is not a corny cliche`–it is a real and essential tool for highly sensitive people to navigate our world inhabited by lots of lesser evolved souls who can’t relate to our emotional journey.  We have a higher purpose, a higher vibration of light to shine as “lightworkers” if you will, and our inner child needs our own tender loving self-care in order to be able to turn the light switch back up from the dimming that may have occurred in childhood or from an unsupportive culture or environment.

Shine on yourself first when you are not feeling the least bit shiny. Let me explain.  Highly sensitive people have a gift of believing in lofty ideals and “light” and that really is a highly spiritual concept.  Deep inside we “know” that unconditional love exists for all and we can tap into that love whenever we want. If you struggle with this concept consider that you may be blocking yourself from receiving this loving feeling from the universe because of a childhood belief that you don’t deserve it.  You may have to actively “decide” to be open to allowing love in from Heaven/God/ Source/Universe/ All That Is/ Mother Nature or whatever you’d like to call it.

Believing I deserve love and letting it in made all the difference in my life.  It changed me from looking to others for outside validation to knowing I could heal myself and shine my gifts on the planet to make a difference.  Now this is no longer daily work for me but I still need to journal to reconnect to my inner wisdom from time to time when I need to recharge from the world.

Being an HSP, highly intuitive person, highly evolved, compassionate, or introspective soul is only difficult when you compare yourself to the masses. Consider that you came here to make a difference!–to shine a new path, a new way of thinking about the earth.  You are a pioneer here to show others how to appreciate nature, how to see beauty in unlikely places, how music or poetry can lift them up, how a healthy diet can change your mood, or how building a strong body can help you have more energy to accomplish goals you never imagined before, etc.  There are so many ways that HSPs are essential to our planet thriving.  It all starts with loving the little child inside of you who is still comparing herself to others instead of seeing the spectacular yet fragile gift she/he has always been and always will be!

After all my inner work now my inner child is very strong.  She is the playful creative force behind all my creative works.  This poem flowed out of me from beginning to end in one fell swoop one day recently when I was in my car–I always have pen and paper handy for when a song or poem comes to me.  I just stop everything and write it down. I’m glad to share it with you now:

angel inner child

Wise Inner Child and Wings and Things

By Roxanne E. Smith

2015

Painful layers coming up

Anger, grief and other stuff

I thought all of this was healed

No there’s more! It is revealed!

Inner child inside can now

Tell the truth—feels safe somehow

I will comfort her brave heart

Out of hiding, let her start

To spread her fragile angel wings

Never used before it seems…

Whoa!! She’s ready! Knows they’re real!

Says, “Yeah, I’ve got wings! It’s no big deal!”

No more hiding them from sight

Imagining her very first flight

I’m the one who kept her down

Protecting her from scorn or frown

She tells me to open the door

“Look” she says, “what wings are for!”

Flying easy as the breeze,

she hovers anywhere she please

Surprised that I am still afraid

She takes MY hand and says, “Let’s trade!

“You be me and I’ll be you.”

“Did you know you have wings too!?”

I look behind and see them there

Tucked away with so much care

Hidden just beneath my sight

I didn’t know I had the right!

“I’ve been busy protecting you

and now I see I’ve got wings too!

I am scared to try them out.

It’s been so long I’ve gone without

How to switch to this new change

It feels so shameful and I feel strange!”

Wise child says,

“You know where that’s from?

Others shamed you because they had none.

No wings to fly wherever they want

So they put you down to stay up front.

But now you know the truth down deep

You learned from all the lessons reaped

Deep inside you know your soul

Has learned more love through the life school

Many lives you’ve lived and learned

About compassion and now’s your turn

You’re here to be a beacon light

Fly and shine on others bright

You know you do this anyway

But you’ve got wings so fly and play

Fly and play don’t toil and fret!

You’re sensitive but the strongest yet!

Now you get to do your thing!

Love and shine and fly and sing!

That’s all that’s it and now you know!”

The little child then hugged me so

And said,

“I love you and I’m always here

I’m your inner strength—no longer fear

You protected me ‘til I was strong

Now I help you to get along

Just like with the Butterfly

The caterpillar is gone goodbye!

Brave new woman with golden wings

Stand your ground and fly and sing

Tell about your growth to show

Others who also do not know

That they have hidden wings as well

They earned them too but they can’t tell

Not until they are really SEEN

For the first time since they were teens

They tried to fly but soon were stopped

And painfully their wings were cropped

But they grew back and have been ready

Until the self was loved and steady

Grounded in peace—no longer fear

You’re free to fly away my dears!

So lighten your house and ease your load

Because the next chapter’s seeds are sowed

Freedom is what will grow

and life will have a different flow

Peace and love will soothe your soul

So you can sing some rock’n’roll

Giving hope to others through

Sharing what you love to do

Then they’ll believe in their own soul

And all the world will heal to whole!”

The child then smiled and said, “Okay?!”

Then held my hand and we flew away!!

Original Poem © Roxanne E. Smith

I wish all of you all the most glorious blessings that life and the holidays have to offer!  Whether you are alone or with loved ones, remember you are loved from above and you are never alone.  As well as having a higher true self that is your creative source, I believe we all have a spirit guide who is our best soul friend and guardian angel looking out for us from heaven and giving us those Aha moments and pride in ourselves for rising up to higher heights to fly!

With warm wishes of love, light, and inner peace,

Roxanne

Posted in Comforting Yourself, Compassion for your Inner Child, denial of painful childhood, emotional blocks, Encouragement, Extreme-Self-Care, finding your true purpose, Grief for Your Lost Childhood, grieving the loss of childhood, inner child, inner grief work, negative spiraling thoughts, Releasing the Painful Past, Renewed Motivation, Repressed emotions, Rise Above the Negativity, Rise up from self-doubt, Sensitivity is a gift, Tap into Universal Love, unblock creativity, uplift the soul, vitality, Wounded at the Core, wounded inner child, Writing Connects You to the Right Side of Your Brain | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Healing PTSD From Emotional Trauma

Emotional Violence Effect's on Child's Brains

Hi everyone.  I was inspired by the picture above to write about some tips for emotional healing:

Many people don’t realize that PTSD  can originate from emotionally violent homes or events as well as physical trauma.  When past trauma comes up to the surface because something triggered you, know that it is on it’s way out and be kind to yourself about it. Look at it, love the child you were who had to endure that feeling, and comfort yourself through the pain that you were never allowed to express until now.

One way to do this is to write your painful feelings out in a journal for your eyes only, know you have good reason to feel this particular painful feeling, then say goodbye to it and release it (visualize this negative energy leaving your body to be dissolved and replaced by love from heaven above).

During this process of healing a layer of PTSD, take it easy, have self-compassion, and reduce all stress. Do not numb out, avoid, or medicate your feelings. Now is the time to take time to love yourself and heal these deeper wounds.

You will feel stronger after this layer-by-layer process because you will then have access to more of your true, authentic, loving spirit that has been there all along. You have been waiting for …YOU!

With comforting and caring wishes as you heal,

Roxanne

Posted in avoiding emotions, Comforting Yourself, Compassion for your Inner Child, denial of painful childhood, emotionally numb, Encouragement, grieving the loss of childhood, inner child, inner grief work, Releasing the Painful Past, Repressed emotions, Rise Above the Negativity, Rise up from self-doubt, Unbearable emotional pain, uplift the soul, Wounded at the Core, wounded inner child | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Soulful Sunday–I’m All Right and Show the World

Happy Sunday! For my SOULFUL SUNDAY series I will be sharing the lyrics to two of my songs–I’ve already shared the videos to two of them so I am catching up from being a little behind in sharing them in contingency with the videos. 🙂

Since 2004, I have written over 50 songs that I call Folk Rock Songs For the Soul. It is my hope that they will inspire, uplift, encourage, and empower your Soul.

I wrote “I’m All Right” in 2005 with the intention of empowering women. The process of writing it felt like a gift from above–as with all of my songs. This song is the 5th most streamed/downloaded song from my album on iTunes. Listen to it now for free by clicking this link: https://www.reverbnation.com/roxannesmith/song/22810153-im-all-right

Lyric Photo--I'm All Right

Next, I wrote “Show the World” in 2013. The process of writing it took a little longer than the others but the process still felt like a gift from above–as with all of my songs. This song is the 4th most streamed/downloaded song from my album on iTunes. Listen to it now for free by clicking this link:https://www.reverbnation.com/roxa…/…/23252639-show-the-world

ba19193d-a38d-4a56-82ef-4f9e00fc0b56_zpswp3mh4vm

Wishing you a wonderful day!
With loving support,

Roxanne

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Youtube Tuesday–Show the World

Hello everyone!  Happy Tuesday!  Here’s my video for YOUTUBE TUESDAY of my performance of my original song “Show the World”:

Every Tuesday I release the video of a different original song to Youtube.  You can listen to the professionally recorded version of this song for free and in it’s entirety anytime at the following link:  Show the World

Lyrics: ba19193d-a38d-4a56-82ef-4f9e00fc0b56_zpswp3mh4vm   With loving support, Roxanne

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Youtube Tuesday–Then You Came Along

Hello Everyone!  Happy Tuesday! Here’s my video for YOUTUBE TUESDAY:

This original song entitled “Then You Came Along” was written for my husband in 2005 and performed on 9-10-14.

With loving support,

Roxanne

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Soulful Sunday–Then You Came Along

Hello Everyone!  Happy Sunday! For my SOULFUL SUNDAY series I will be sharing the lyrics to one my songs every Sunday. Since 2004, I have written over 50 songs that I call Folk Rock Songs For the Soul. It is my hope that they will inspire, uplift, encourage, and empower your Soul.

I wrote “Then You Came Along” in 2005 for my husband Kevin. The process of writing it felt like a gift from above–as with all of my songs. Wishing you a wonderful day!

Lyric Photo-Then You Came Along

 

With love, Roxanne

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Youtube Tuesday: I Believe In Angels

Hi everyone.  I am adding a new video of an original song performance to YouTube every Tuesday.  This one is from my second open mic night back in July 2014.

With loving support,

Roxanne

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Soulful Sunday–I Believe In Angels

Happy Sunday! For my SOULFUL SUNDAY series I will be sharing the lyrics to one my songs every Sunday. Since 2004, I have written over 50 songs that I call Folk Rock Songs For the Soul. It is my hope that they will inspire, uplift, encourage, and empower your Soul.

I wrote “I Believe In Angels” in 2007. The process of writing it felt like a gift from above–as with all of my songs. Wishing you a wonderful day!

With love, RoxanneLyric Photo--I Believe In Angels

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Youtube Tuesday video: A New Beginning

Hello everyone!  It’s YOUTUBE TUESDAY!  Today I am releasing to Youtube a new video of my performance of my original song A New Beginning.  It was performed at the Doghouse Sportsbar Open Stage the night of my album release celebration on 10-01-14.

I’ll be releasing a new original song video every Tuesday. You can see all my videos or subscribe to my Youtube Channel at this link:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg27-Lzvcffrr7lf6DRIfg.

Lyrics:

A New Beginning--Lyrics

A New Beginning–Lyrics

With loving support,

Roxanne

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Soulful Sunday–Lyrics to A New Beginning

Happy Sunday! For my SOULFUL SUNDAY series I will be sharing the lyrics to one my songs every Sunday. Since 2004, I have written over 50 songs that I call Folk Rock Songs For the Soul. It is my hope that they will inspire, uplift, encourage, and empower your Soul.

I wrote “A New Beginning” in 2007. The process of writing it felt like a gift from above–as with all of my songs. This song is the inspiration for the title of my debut album which was released on Sept. 30, 2014. It can be found on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, Rhapsody, and CDBaby.com or my website www.RoxanneSmithMusic.com. Have a wonderful day!

A New Beginning--Lyrics

A New Beginning–Lyrics

With loving support,

Roxanne

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YouTube Tuesday!–Dancin’ In the Rain

Hello Everyone!  It’s YOUTUBE TUESDAY! Today I am releasing to Youtube a new, never seen before video of my original song Dancin’ In the Rain. It was performed at the Doghouse Sportsbar Open Stage with the help of 2 amazing musician friends: James S. Wolpert Jr. on guitar and Jim Ditsworth on bass.

I’ll be sharing a new original song video every Tuesday. You can like, share, and subscribe to my Youtube Channel of Folk Rock Songs For the Soul at this link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXg27-Lzvcffrr7lf6DRIfg.

Lyrics:Lyric Photo--Dancin' In the Rain2

With loving support,

Roxanne

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Dancin’ In the Rain Lyrics for SOULFUL SUNDAY

Happy Sunday! For my SOULFUL SUNDAY series I will be sharing the lyrics to one my songs every Sunday. Since 2004, I have written over 50 songs that I call Folk Rock Songs For the Soul. It is my hope that they will inspire, uplift, encourage, and empower your Soul.

“Dancin’ In the Rain” was written in 2007. The process of writing it felt like a gift from above–as with all of my songs. This song is on my album entitled “A New Beginning” and you can stream it on Spotify,Reverbnation.com/roxannesmith, or Soundcloud.com/roxannesmith111.

Please “Like” my musician facebook page: Roxanne Smith Music (only 1 to go until I reach 100 likes!) Or follow me on twitter.com/roxannesmith111. Thank you for your support!

Lyric Photo--Dancin' In the Rain2

With loving support,

Roxanne

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Youtube Tuesday–We Are Here to Love

Hi Everyone!  For this week’s YOUTUBE TUESDAY I am sharing a video of my first time ever performance of WE ARE HERE TO LOVE from last week. I had not planned to perform this song yet since it was so new… This performance is a shortened version–minus one verse of the lyrics on purpose (and only half of the bridge inadvertently ^_^.

If you’d like to support me as I share my original songs of hope and encouragement for the soul please share this with your friends on facebook or “Like” my Facebook Musician Page: facebook.com/RoxanneSmithMusic or subscribe to my Youtube Channel. Thank you for your support!

Here are the lyrics again:

We Are Here To Love

We Are Here To Love

With loving support,

Roxanne

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Starting Soulful Sundays!

Happy Sunday! I am starting a new series I am calling SOULFUL SUNDAYS–I will be sharing the lyrics of one my songs every Sunday. Since 2004, I have written over 50 songs that I call Folk Rock Songs For the Soul. It is my hope that they will inspire, uplift, encourage, and empower your Soul.

“We Are Here To Love” is my most recent song written within the last few months. I wrote it from beginning to end with all the chords in about an hour. I feel it was a gift from above–as with all of my songs.

With love and light, Roxanne

We Are Here To Love

We Are Here To Love

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Announcing Youtube Tuesdays!

Hi friends. Today is the first day of a new series I am starting called
YOUTUBE TUESDAYS–I will be releasing a video of a performance of a different one of my original songs every Tuesday on my Youtube channel.

Please click on the words Youtube near the bottom right corner of the video–so you may then click on SUBSCRIBE in order to be sure to see the best displays of my original musical work which I call Folk Rock Songs For the Soul.

I created this Youtube channel to share my performances of my original songs. As you may know, I’m a Life Coach and Singer-Songwriter who writes soulful, emotional songs of hope, empowerment, comfort, and emotional healing. So far I have written about 50 songs that are ready to record and perform–10 of which are on my debut album “A New Beginning”.

Please click on the thumbs up “like” if you like the song and also “share” with your friends to support me and help me get my songs of hope and healing out to the world. Thank you for your support!

(You can listen to the professionally recorded version of this song, which is on my album, for free on Spotify or download it from my music website http://www.RoxanneSmithMusic.com or iTunes, Amazon, or CDBaby.com :D)

FYI I am sharing the “About” section from my Youtube Channel: “Always a writer and a singer since childhood, I spontaneously started writing these songs just for myself in 2004 and discovered that writing them helped me heal deeply within. When I started sharing them with others I was told that they felt the same way–the songs were healing something deep inside. When writing them, I feel they are “given to me from above” as I work through a personal challenge. The process helps me feel hopeful and recharged again, as I reconnect with my true voice and true self. Now not all of the songs are about my own life–some songs are purely creative fiction meant to inspire, validate, uplift, heal, and empower your soul. Thank you all for your support! Please like, share, and subscribe! :D”

Lyrics:  Show the World
By Roxanne Smith
​​
You watch the sands of time
And feel the streaming glares of signs
As they seem to roll around
Inside your head
If you stay inside this trip
You will lose your earthly grip
Got to reach inside and
Dare to wander instead

CHORUS:
‘Cause there’s a fire in our souls
God we love this rock and roll
And we can’t hold it in
Anymore
Sing together while we try
‘Cause we’re just a little shy
But the fire in our hearts is so hot
Got to show the world
We’re ready to rock!

The answers are inside
Got to go with the tide
And then you will arrive with
All of you
If you don’t go down this road
You’ll never know who’s running the show
You’re the only one who can change
To make it so.

CHORUS:….

BRIDGE:
Got to let it out
They were wrong and we’re gonna shout it
We’ll show them and then they’ll see
No going back because we’re free

CHORUS:
Gotta show the world
We’re ready to rock Yeah, Yeah
​Got to show the world
We’re ready to rock ​
Original Song © 2013 Roxanne Smith

I will also be writing regular informational posts on this blog and adding more Pages as well so please stay tuned and better yet, “Follow”, so you will receive notifications of new posts via email. Have a wonderful week!

With warm wishes of love and light,

Roxanne

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How to Overcome Self-defeating Behaviors and Your “Inner Critic” by Journaling

self-confidenceHello everyone!  It’s good to be back blogging here again!  Today’s post is for everyone who has realized they have an “inner critic” but may be of special interest to high achieving intuitive “thinking” types (for example, INTJs, and ENTJs) –and also may apply to high achieving “feeling” types as well.  In part I’ll be addressing the special complexity of being both a high achiever and intuitive, and a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and how this combination of academic giftedness, and a deep thinking facility can lead to avoidance and a numbness in regard to emotions.

What I have come to learn about emotional healing is that it is often so difficult to begin when, as children, we have spent most of our lives trying not to be so “sensitive”–and to fit into the rest of society in which, at least in the American Culture that exists today, being sensitive is not the “ideal”.  There exists a pressure to be extraverted, social, superficial, constantly busy, productive and able to produce and work hard no matter what is going on in our lives.  Also the word sensitive is often used synonymously with the word “insecure” and that is not at all what is meant here.  Sensitivity (aka highly intuitive) is a gift and it causes you to experience everything in life at a deeper, richer level.  Less sensitive others may outnumber us and put it down but they are just plain wrong in my opinion. 🙂

Because of ridicule of our budding sensitive selves early in life, we have hidden away the part of us that “feels” and have become very good at being successful and “thinking” our way out of problems and “thinking” our way to finding a cure for the emptiness and loneliness we sometimes feel.  So we keep seeking out superficial relationships and experiences, looking for some “one” or  fun experiences that will be the answer to our discontent.

Also we may try to fill our time with busy tasks that satisfy our immediate need for validation and often this is through technology, being constantly plugged in to our computers or phones, being news junkies, texting, video games, watching television etc.  All of these tasks seem to keep us going through another empty day of being out of touch with who we really are and help to keep us in a state of numbness that may have been a state of survival for us as highly sensitive children.

The problems that crop up in our lives are clues to the fact that this superficial state of existence is not really working for us and we need to make a change.  For example, it is often a shock to us when we have relationship problems with others because we, for the most part see nothing wrong with how we are functioning and relating to others. When you have spent your life avoiding painful feelings you begin to believe that you have no real problems at all and everything would just be fine if people would do things your way—the logical way.  It isn’t until others in our lives complain about our emotional unavailability that we even see that there is a problem at all.

Other problems that may crop up from not being in touch with our emotional side are that you may be out of touch or blocked from fully utilizing your creativity and this can lead to a feeling of dissatisfaction with the work that you are doing.  Also, when you are dissatisfied with your work because it is unfulfilling on a deeper emotional level, gradually it saps your energy.

You may also “over-work” to continue numbing out your feelings because you are out of touch with your feelings that tell you a natural time to stop and you are not listening to your body. When you over-work at an unfulfilling job you run on adrenaline a lot from stress.  This causes your body to produce too much cortisol which can mess up the balance of hormones and cause you to have less energy. motivation, and even feel semi-depressed (possible symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue or “burnout”). This can cause you to become overwhelmed with even simple tasks in your life that you just don’t have the motivation or energy to do anymore.

This is worsened when you are highly intuitive (sensitive) in that you are constantly taking in more stimuli than other people who are not intuitive.  You may be comparing yourself constantly to less intuitive (less sensitive) others and you get overwhelmed trying to do what everyone else seems to be able to do.  Intuitives are only 15 to 20% of the population and it will help you so much if you embrace that it is a gift that sets you apart and you are different for a reason. You must make allowances for your need for breaks and time alone to recharge–even extraverts who are highly intuitive (sensitive) need to cut back on their “list of shoulds” because they are taking in more stimuli than extraverted others.  Just realizing you “require” more rest and more time to recharge and regroup when you are in a stressful job can be quite a relief–especially for this group that tends to be harder on themselves anyway and want badly to succeed and be the best at their jobs which are often technology based.

Getting access to your emotional side and out of the left-brained thinking side which you exist in most of the time will help you to feel more satisfaction and joy in your life and at work and have more fulfilling connections with others.

This is not easy but it is so worth the effort because the end result is the connection to the real you—the emotional side of yourself that is the connection to the source of all love and compassion which is a higher power/universal consciousness/or “God”!  Now I know I may have lost some of you just now because your scientific mind refuses to believe in something so intangible and illogical.  However, if you do some research you will find that some of the greatest minds including Albert Einstein believed in a spiritual creative universal consciousness that could be tapped into. This can be achieved by believing in your self and your dreams and requires a certain amount of “emotional self-discovery” and healing of those blocks which keep us from feeling things on a deep level.

When you work through the blocks that keep you from enjoying your life on a deep level you can overcome compulsive behaviors such as perfectionism, over-working, and procrastination as well.  These behaviors often result because you are trying to do too many things and have unrealistic expectations of your highly sensitive self–you may try to “overcome” your sensitivity if you look at it as a weakness or you may try to ignore it–but it is innate in you and it will always be there!

As I said before, it is better to embrace it and surrender to it and see it as the gift that it really is–a higher level of creativity and vision will be available to you at your work if you finally start taking care of your extra needs for sleep, time alone, and down time from the left side of your brain. You will be able to tap into your creative genius as a visionary at work if you do some things that help you tap into the right side of your brain–the creative, emotional, and spiritual side. Operating with access to both sides of your brain is so important for balance in your life and in your health and vitality.  Makes logical sense, right?

My recommendation is JournalingWritingwriting out your feelings, whatever they are, negative or positive, daily in a journal for your eyes only–because it is a scientific fact that writing in order to express your “feelings” opens up neural pathways to the right side of your brain–this causes you tap into your compassionate side while you write which is a kinder voice which over time will over-ride your inner critic (the inner critic always originates from the left brain and it’s long list of “shoulds”. )  It creates a channel to the creative side of your life which is the key to a fulfilling connection to your true self and to a source of love we are all capable of experiencing as humans on this planet.

You can do this yourself by following the journaling guidelines in the book, “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron.  It is a wonderful course in discovering and recovering your creative self and I highly recommend it–I did these “morning pages” myself as part of my own recovery.  Writing out my feelings in a journal has been one of the many facets that contributed to my awakening to my true spirit which was hiding inside. I have been writing poetry in a journal since the age of 14, but it wasn’t until about 2002 that I set out to try to do Julia Cameron’s morning pages (3 pages of free writing every day) which turned out to be extremely therapeutic “inner grief work” that took place over a period of 5 years.  It was during this period that I wrote about the feeling that I was “growing a backbone” and this felt very miraculous indeed.  I knew I was finding my voice finally and it had been hidden away–I was creatively blocked.  My husband (an INTJ) journals as well now and was amazed at it’s effect and referred to the process as “growing a new heart”.  The outcome of this kind of journaling is as unique for the person as the uniqueness of the person doing the writing.

The truth is you need to be able to love your self in order to give love to others and that is necessary in order to be happy and fulfilled in your life and in your work.  You may be saying, “I love myself already”, but it may be more of a sense of entitlement for things and success and a superficial love for self.  What I am talking about is loving all of you including the parts of yourself that you are cut off from and avoid–the feelings that make you uncomfortable–shame, sadness, despair, loneliness, and anger etc..  These are feelings that we all feel for a reason and the reason needs to be explored so that you can consciously acknowledge the feelings and ultimately release them and heal them.  When you allow painful feelings to be expressed at the core of when they occurred and for the reason that they occurred then you are connecting to the truth that you blocked from your memory.  A block such as this is always going to keep you from being able to experience full joy and happiness in your life until you work through it.

Often these blocks were formed in childhood.  If you were a highly sensitive child in an environment where your parents were already overwhelmed with dealing with their own feelings, then you may have shut off your feelings and repressed them in order to “be good” and helpful to your parents.  Sometimes we were so gifted and so intuitive that we were able to shut down our feeling sides without the memory of any real trauma from childhood but just because we constantly told ourselves that our feelings didn’t matter.  We then have a “belief” that we are no more than this false self that we created to survive—when in actuality there is a whole other rich and emotional side to us that is begging for our attention!

Problems that come up in our lives are clues to this other side of our life that needs healing.  Gary Zukav, author of the Seat of the Soul, is a physicist who embraces the spiritual side of his life and believes that the way to feeling wholeness is by excavating our feelings as if we are an archeologist looking for clues and answers to “why”.  The answers are inside of us and often are because of events that occurred in our childhood that keep us stuck at the emotional level that we were at the time the event occurred.

Often, things that happened in childhood were unbearably painful and we had to repress them in order to survive them.  To “repress” is to completely deny them and remove them from our consciousness!  Journaling helps to bring them forth and allow us to discover things about us that are important clues to how to be happy in life!

Remember, the opposite of depression is not happiness but “vitality” which is the ability to express and let flow the full spectrum of emotions—the negative uncomfortable ones as well as positive and easy ones. (Alice Miller–The Drama of the Gifted Child).  Developing self-compassion for all you have been through will change your life!  I hope this information has been helpful to you.

With loving support,

Roxanne

Posted in academically gifted, actualize the true potential, Actualize Your Dreams and Desires, Adrenal Fatigue, avoiding emotions, Comforting Yourself, Compassion for your Inner Child, denial of painful childhood, despair, emotional blocks, emotionally numb, exhaustion, finding your true purpose, Follow Your Heart Instead of Your Head, For high achievers, Gary Zukav, Growing a backbone, higher power, inner child, inner grief work, Julia Cameron, loneliness, low energy, over-working, Perfectionism, Procrastination, recharge your energy, Releasing Anger, Releasing the Painful Past, Repressed emotions, Rise up from self-doubt, Sensitivity is a gift, shame, Stress-related illness, The Artists's Way, The opposite of depression is vitality, The Seat Of the Soul--Book, Unbearable emotional pain, unblock creativity, Universal consciousness, vitality, workaholic, Writing Connects You to the Right Side of Your Brain | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Procrastination Can Be A Sign Of A New Path Emerging–A Decluttered Future Awaits!

481678_10151469584314316_2045054624_nHello everyone.  I hope you are coping well as we trudge through these last few weeks of winter.  Saying goodbye to the cold February weather was a boost for all of us here in the midwest USA and colder climate areas!  But this new wave of snow is making March harder than many of us anticipated I think.  For me, in addition to cabin fever,  procrastination of my very important goals became a problem.

I had struggled with procrastination in the past and discovered some useful ways to overcome it.  My methods worked once again so I thought I’d share them with you.  It is my hope that this post will resonate with highly compassionate intuitive souls (aka HSPs) who struggle with this because… we are more creative than most (too many fantastic ideas), we are more sensory-sensitive (overstimulated) than most (actually intuitively gifted :)), and we are even hard on ourselves for being hard on ourselves (a bad habit from our past).  Add to that, it’s too cold to go out, without the warmth of the sun and the beauty of nature to recharge us, we often get overwhelmed, bogged down, stuck in negative energy, which often results in Procrastination!

I was in the middle of a very important project!–I am in the process of decluttering my home and removing items that I have long been attached to but no longer serve my needs. This is big!  I have been wanting to do this for years and had finally begun with great gusto!

I had decided to declutter after coming back from an amazing and uplifting January vacation when I discovered… upon entering… my home… that it brought my energy …  down.  I was surprised and it was the first time I saw my home with new eyes and clarity–I wanted it to be better, lift me up higher, and match the positive energy I was feeling after this amazing vacation.  When you realize that the energy in your home is very important in order to have the energy to achieve your goals, it suddenly comes clear why decluttering is so important.

I am actually a pretty organized person and for the most part I am very happy with my home and it’s decor–but I have many labeled boxes of projects, collections, boxes of “some day I might need this” items, and memorabilia from the past filling up all of my closets and inside of cabinets in almost every room in my home!

I found and read a book I had bought a while back using Feng Shui to declutter and I started in with great success. With it I discovered a new way to assess the items in my home. Now I not only ask myself, “do I love, need, or use this item?” AND “if I die tomorrow does it represent who I am and what I believe in to my surviving family members who will have to sort through all of this stuff?” (a really great question to ask yourself :)) BUT ALSO NOW I ask myself, “does this item give me good positive energy, and uplift me, or does it bring me down?”

I had great success with this new approach and got rid of 80 books and a lot of silly trinkets in my den that I previously had been unable to part with.  I became exhausted after 2 days decluttering and cleaning 2 rooms and then took a break for a few days.  But when it was time to get back to my decluttering I found myself experiencing big time procrastination!  I was able to work through it pretty quickly and I wanted to share with you what worked to overcome this awful, unmotivated feeling.

When we find ourselves procrastinating important goals, often it is an emotional block from a painful time in our childhood that is coming up to heal in order to free us up so we can achieve our goals or create new ones. Writing out our frustration about our “numbness” or “stuckness” in a journal can often help us to figure out what is really going on:

For example,

1)Perhaps you had a very good reason to be fearful as a child and underneath your procrastination is really anxiety.  Your anxiety was a healthy, reasonable reaction to fearful events you experienced as a child.  Having compassion for your inner child who was too afraid to be creative or express feelings can help heal this layer of fear that is an energy blockage in your body and is keeping you from moving forward.

Or

2) It could be anger that was never allowed to be expressed and after you realize you have a right to be angry and release it, grief for the lost childhood can follow.  Yelling into a pillow and then having a good cry could be all that is needed to free you up to achieving your goals again.

Do the opposite of being hard on yourself about your procrastination:

1) Have compassion for the little child in you who was never seen and validated and never was encouraged to do what she/he desired or was never allowed to be angry. Because of the past now it is difficult for you to follow your desires–no wonder!  You deserve compassion!  Be kind to yourself!

2)Take a break and do something fun for yourself, treat yourself, or get a change of scenery.  Comfort yourself, indulge into your feelings and release them by writing in a journal for your eyes only.  Writing connects you to the right side of your brain so that you can receive intuitive guidance from your higher self.

3)Declutter your mind by journaling!  Getting the clutter and confusion out of our brain and onto paper often frees up our emotional blocks so that we can have clarity and renewed motivation for our goals again.  Sometimes by writing and venting all the frustrations that are keeping us from moving forward, we then feel less overwhelmed and suddenly gain clarity about new goals. We may even decide to change course in a way that is a better fit for us after all.

Journaling helps us to look forward to change and new desires that make life more exciting and asking ourselves the very question, “What’s asking to be born in my life? This procrastination may be coming up to force you to write in order to access your inner guidance and get back in touch with your higher self!

That is what happened with me.  As I wrote I discovered some fear from the past the was coming up as I experienced new successes in my life. I was kind to myself as a result of this new awareness and treated myself to some comforting extreme-self-care and rest.  Then I discovered I was still very excited about the many new creative projects that had  gotten me excited to declutter in the first place!–the motivation had been restored and the urge to procrastinate had disappeared!

And since I work at home, I really was excited about the vision of my home that I knew would give me energy and help me to attain these goals.  So now I am back to decluttering my home (after decluttering my brain and heart) and I am delving into the hardest space, my bedroom closet!  This is where I have hat boxes filled with old letters and cards from every occasion, old favorite shoes and memorabilia from high school, college, and my early years of parenting, and too many clothes that I will never wear again.

Helpful tip:  I have learned to take a picture of items that I am keeping just for the memories and then I say goodbye–pictures take up so much less space and you still have the memory!  If saying goodbye to it is really hard for you, try putting the hardest items in your garage or in an out of the way place for a little while just to see if you miss them.  If you don’t miss them then say goodbye and say hello to all the new space you have for new better energy to come into your life!

Wish me luck, after the bedroom closet it’s time to tackle the game room/art room/catch-all room!  Time to turn it into a guest room/man cave? ha ha My husband will love it!

With loving support,

Roxanne

Posted in Actualize Your Dreams and Desires, Comforting Yourself, Compassion for your Inner Child, Decluttering the Mind and Heart, Extreme-Self-Care, Grief for Your Lost Childhood, Posts, Releasing Anger, Releasing the Painful Past, Renewed Motivation, Rise Above the Negativity, Writing Connects You to the Right Side of Your Brain | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Emotional Support For Intuitive Souls Who Endured Some Holiday Blues

Hello everyone.  I am feeling deeply contemplative as we all start back to work and into our regular routines.  Being a highly empathetic person (an  empath)  I am feeling that many have struggled to understand their confusing emotions during the last two weeks. The end of the year can be a time of emotional turmoil and upheaval for highly intuitive compassionate souls in recovery from a difficult childhood–we often absorbed the pain of those less compassionate in our families and blamed ourselves for it–at a time when we wanted to be loved and seen and to be celebrating the holidays.

Now that you are older and wiser, you know how to create the kind of holiday support that you want and you have been successful at creating a safe circle of support for yourself.  But because you are safe now and your soul is stronger and you are striving to reach some new goals and dreams it is very likely that some of the pain you internalized as a tiny child was coming “up” to heal at a time when you wanted to be happy and celebrating like everyone else.

When pain comes up when things are going well, it is a layer of repressed energy coming up to be healed–and to show you what you endured in early childhood and what caused you to form some unhealthy core beliefs about yourself that are not true about you.  This occurring is often really the pain of others that you absorbed when you were too little to understand your empathic abilities–it is not even “your” pain, you were probably a shining light of optimism in the face of much darkness as a child… but after a while our tiny spirits “give up” (around the age of 5 or 6) and go into hiding until it is safe to come out.

Now it is safe to come out and so that is why that pain is coming up–it is pain from the past just saying “hello here I am from the past”.  Try to imagine yourself just waving and saying hello as it passes, like a train passing through, to teach you something you didn’t know about yourself.  (Try this instead of allowing the pain to take you over and “believing” it.)  It is teaching you that you are now wiser about your own strength and what you are capable of enduring.  It is not the truth about “you”, it is just pain that you absorbed and believed that you deserved.  But you didn’t deserve it.  You were tiny and defenseless and misunderstood.  This life is your journey to understand yourself and this pain happening is an opportunity.  It helped me feel so much stronger when I read that Ekhart Tolle said that “we are not what happened to us, we are the presence that observes what happened to us”.  It shifted me–it was a “aha” moment.

The pain was someone elses to begin with.  And as a child someone blamed you for their pain and you had no choice but to take it and blame yourself for it because as compassionate souls we can’t “bear” the rejection we would have had to endure if we had gotten mad about how we were treated.  The messages about our deserving the pain belongs to an inner critic we developed in our heads that is a “liar” about you–it is wrong about you and you did not deserve to have the pain of others put on you like that.

Jaycee Dugard, the kidnap victim said after her release, “I will not feel shame about what happened to me, it is “his” shame he put on me and I will not spend a second allowing it to keep me from enjoying the rest of my life!”(–this is not an exact quote, I heard her speak on a tv show.)  I am amazed at her strength and clarity about what happened and how to move forward.  It shows she had a strong core of love for herself before she was so brutally victimized.

So, I believe it is very helpful to visualize the pain and shame as negative energy going back to where it came from or away from you and visualize love and light from the Universe or nature in a protective bubble around you or angels wings embracing you with comfort and nurturing love.  This love is real and available to you anytime if you can just allow yourself to be open to it.  Nature can be a loving source of healing for any time you experience negative energy (emotional pain) intruding in your life. The elements of nature absorb negative energy and give you back positive energy.  If you can’t get outdoors to be recharged, you can hold flower petals or leaves in your hands and imagine sending the negative energy into it (you can’t hurt nature–it is able to replenish itself), or in a shower you can visualize the negative energy being washed out of you and down the drain and replenishing your body with love and light.

I hope this information is helpful and helps you understand the often confusing process of emotional healing recovery for highly intuitive souls.  Most important, be very kind and gentle to yourself and know you are supported by the Universe (Mother Earth, God) and you are here for higher reasons.  You are healing when you feel the pain and release it–that layer of pain is gone forever.

I am wishing you peace and love as we begin a New Year with tender feelings left over from the Holidays.  You now know more about yourself and what you deserved from the painful upheaval of feelings from the past that may have come “up” over the holidays.  Gentleness is the answer–be gentle on your compassionate soul each and every day and your message of gentleness will spread to others.  Perhaps this is the reason you are here on the planet–to spread this healing message of the grace and calm of “gentleness”.  But first you must learn to be gentle to yourself.  You deserve to be bathed in the light of calm and gentle… love.

With loving support,

Roxanne

Posted in Comforting Yourself, Encouragement, Posts, Releasing the Painful Past, Rise Above the Negativity, Tap into Universal Love, Wounded at the Core | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments